"If you got no cash, get a loan and scream"

A line from the Cesky Sen Hypermarket jingle. Composer: "I can make people cry." Families: like to sing it impromptu.

A government-funded documentary / advertising campaign (400 billboards, 200 000 flyers, tv and radio spots) centred around a 10 x 100 m facade in a meadow. People ran towards it.

The tv asked: what would your Dream hypermarket be? The hunk (post gym workout) said "The assistants should be good looking." The free-and-easy boy in the park (tossing his dreadlocks aside) said: "It shouldn't be boring."

The posters said "Don't Go" "Don't Rush" "Don't Spend".

One advertising exec: "We don't lie." The other: "I am telling people what to do, controlling where they are on May 31st." (they had different looks in their eyes.)

To decipher the design-efficiency of their brochures, the eye movements of their target demographic were documented. A contraption was placed on their head whilst scanning the pages. The volunteers got chocolate, the film makers pie-charts and a deadly, full-colour glossy. I want this machine. I want it in my crits. I want it at home. What is it called?


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